


make my heart shake

by avioletqueen



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 16:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5632795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avioletqueen/pseuds/avioletqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Then Mount Weather had happened. And then Miller had happened. Miller, with his easy, smooth voice, his deft hands, his bright eyes. Slowly, slowly, the tightly wound knot around Monty’s heart had unraveled. Carefully, cautiously, he’d let himself fall, and Miller had caught him without hesitation. Had pulled him close, held him tight, kissed the blood of three hundred people off his hands.</p>
<p>And now, here he is, apparently a gay role model. Wonders never cease."</p>
            </blockquote>





	make my heart shake

**Author's Note:**

> written for [The 100 Secret Santa 2015](http://the100secretsanta.tumblr.com/)!  
> title from "wild" by troye sivan.

“Um, Mr. Green?”

Monty actually jumps when the kid tugs at his sleeve, because while he knows that Green is his last name, being called Mr. Green is kind of alien to him. Turning from the radio he’s tinkering with, he pulls a reassuring smile onto his face, seeing that the younger boy looks worried that he’s spooked him. “Sorry, I’m just not used to that. You can just call me Monty, you know."

“Right. Monty.” The kid nods emphatically, then seems to be at a loss for words. Monty hesitates, then gestures to a nearby chair.

“Do you want to take a seat?” he offers gently, because the boy seems to be nervous beyond belief, for some reason. He’d suggest moving to a more private place, but no one else is in engineering this late, so the place is pretty deserted.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks.” The boy sits down, anxiously twining his fingers together. After a moment, he belatedly says, “by the way, I’m Shelley.”

“Shelley. Cool. How can I help you?” Monty sets down his tools, leaning back in his chair and giving the boy his full attention.

The boy frowns down at his hands for a couple moments, then blurts out, “how did you know you liked Miller?”, all in one breath. The tips of his ears turn red, and he looks determinedly down at his feet, refusing to make eye contact with Monty.

Which is probably a good thing, because Monty can feel that his face has gone ridiculously hot at the question. It’s been a couple months since they’d gotten together, since Monty had started to feel comfortable holding his hand in public. He’d realized, subconsciously, that everyone must know about them - but being asked a direct question like this means that he actually has to face the fact. People who don’t know him know that he's in a relationship with the boy of his dreams. Cool. Okay.

“Well, um. We became friends during… um, during Mount Weather,” Monty starts hesitantly, but he trails off as Shelley’s frown only gets more pronounced. “—sorry?"

“No- I’m sorry,” he replies almost mechanically, shaking his head. “I just… that’s not what I meant. I meant… how did you know you liked guys?”

Oh. Oh.

Growing up on the Arc hadn’t necessarily been easy when it came to figuring out one’s sexual orientation. The years of judgment and hatred were far in the past, times they learned about in their history classes, but that didn’t mean it still wasn’t a little scary, to find himself head over heels for his best friend as said best friend fell in love with one girl after another.

That wasn’t a judgment of Jasper, incidentally. The guy had a huge heart and way too much love to give out - just not the kind of love that Monty had been looking for back then.

So he’d kept his affections a secret, knowing full well that Jasper would never return them. Even as they came down with the Ark and fumbled their way through surviving the first few weeks, Monty kept his emotions locked away, just as he always had.

Then Mount Weather had happened. And then Miller had happened. Miller, with his easy, smooth voice, his deft hands, his bright eyes. Slowly, slowly, the tightly wound knot around Monty’s heart had unraveled. Carefully, cautiously, he’d let himself fall, and Miller had caught him without hesitation. Had pulled him close, held him tight, kissed the blood of three hundred people off his hands.

And now, here he is, apparently a gay role model. Wonders never cease.

“I’ve always known, really, so I don’t know how much I can help,” Monty responds, just a tad apologetically. “When I was a kid, I used to worry because I never got that feeling of- you know, wanting to spend your life together with a girl and wanting to kiss a girl. I just wanted to get married to my friend and spend my life together with him. And then I sort of put two and two together.”

At least that makes Shelley smile a little, some of the tension having seeped out from his shoulders. “So is that how you felt with Miller?”

Monty can’t help smiling at the question, which is totally embarrassing. He’s way too much of a romantic. “Not really. With my friend, I sort of suddenly realized that I had a crush, way after the fact. I… I saw Miller coming."

“Does that make it better?” Shelley asks, actually looking hopeful. “If you see it coming?"

“Well, I don’t know if it’s better or worse, but I never dated my friend, and I’m living with Miller now,” Monty replies with an easy shrug. "So I’d say it worked out for me."

“Okay. Alright. I- Thank you so much.” Shelley fidgets a little, then gets to his feet, running a hand through his hair shyly. “I just… I think I might be in love with my friend, and I just- I thought I’d ask you. Because you and Miller are in love. But- I think I’ve got it figured out now. So thanks."

His rapid-fire words wash over Monty without fully registering, because his entire mind stops working at that one word. He must have said something like “No problem,” or “Anytime!”, because Shelley smiles and leaves engineering like he didn’t just break Monty’s mind.

Is he in love with Miller?

He definitely has a crush, Monty thinks a few hours later, because he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it. His heart definitely skips beats and all those disgusting things whenever he sees Miller. But is that love? Because love is such a forever sort of thing, and Monty can barely think a couple days ahead, spends more of his time grateful for the present than looking towards the future. He knows that he wants Miller now, but so much can change so quickly on Earth. He’s barely 16, and it feels like he has years stretching out in front of him, but he’s seen how quickly that can come to an end.

Is love even for people like him? It always sounded like it was for people who were sure of their happily-ever-afters, who didn’t wake up screaming over what they’d done and what they might do.

“Green, you’ve got to stop doing this.”

Monty snaps out of his reverie, looking down at the little radio still in his hands, despite the fact that he fixed it a while ago. Then he looks up at his boyfriend - his boyfriend - and grins a little abashedly. “Sorry, I must have zoned out.”

Miller affects a long sigh, slumping in the chair next to him with ease. “How is that new?” he demands, reaching over to take Monty’s hand. That’s another thing Monty likes about him. It’s so easy for him to be genuine. There’s no lack of artifice about it. Monty gets nervous and all twisted up on the inside whenever they so much as lean into each other’s spaces, but Miller is always gently confident about it.

Oh dear. “How- how was your day?” Monty asks, trying to move the conversation to safer topics so he doesn’t get lost in his head again, thinking about a certain four letter word.

“Like any other.” That doesn’t mean Miller won’t share more details - just that Monty has to give him a little time to think of something. "One of the kids I’ve been training with was in a lot better of a mood today. Dude named Shelley. Do you know him?"

Of course. Monty can’t help letting out a little puff of breath, a helpless laugh and a nervous sigh all mixed together. “Yeah, I know him. I met him today, actually."

“Really?” Miller frowns. “Why did he have to come by here?”

“Because apparently I’m the person to talk to if you’re a boy who like boys,” Monty responds without making eye contact, his fingers not currently in Miller’s grip fidgeting in his lap.

“Oh, babe.” He’s laughing now, Monty knows without having to actually look at him. “You must’ve said something right, though. That kid was on cloud nine today.”

“Well, you know me. Just amazing at relationship advice and all that.” That’s a joke if he ever heard one.

“But now I’m kind of pissed. Why didn’t he ask me?” Monty is about to tease Miller about his gruff appearance, the way he doesn’t quite come across as approachable - but then he continues. “It’s not like I don’t love you too."

Monty should probably say something in response. That’s generally what one should do, probably. Instead, he just looks up at his boyfriend with wide eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open but ultimately staying silent. That’s... not what he was expecting.

And of course, Miller looks concerned, his hand loosening a little, because who wouldn’t be disheartened by that sort of answer? “Hey, did I say something wrong? Was that too much?"

“No.” This, he blurts out quickly, pulling his hand from Miller’s grasp to gesture, because that just makes talking easier. “It’s just- I didn’t realize. Shelley mentioned it and I was thinking about it. But I didn’t know what you thought. And.” He swallows, realizing that he’s not really making any sense. “… we love each other.”

It comes out as more of a question than a statement. But Miller’s smiling, and his voice is easy and smooth as always when he says, “I sure hope so, Green. Cause you’re it for me.”

Monty doesn’t generally blush. Despite being more of a romantic idiot nowadays, alcohol is still way more likely to induce that response in him. But now, when he leans in to kiss Miller giddily, his cheeks are a pleased pink, edging closer to red.

When they pull apart, Monty mentions breathlessly, “I love you too, by the way. Incidentally. In case you were wondering.”

Miller laughs, and it sets something loose in his chest, like a hundred butterflies soaring out of his stomach into his heart. “Good to know."


End file.
